What To Say & What Not To Say

What To Say & What Not To Say

Experiencing pregnancy loss can be devastating to the person going through it. Many people who have experienced loss, regardless of how long they carried, may feel this as the loss of an infant. They may feel a sense of fear or anxiety about what this loss means for them and their ability to get pregnant (read more about fertility after pregnancy loss in the dedicated section here). The hope and excitement they felt around the prospect of having a baby might feel shattered. And they may be angry at their body for not allowing them to carry a baby that their heart may have so greatly desired.

In addition to the emotional toll of pregnancy loss, they are also experiencing physiological and physical changes, such as a sudden drop in hormones that can impact their emotional state, layered on top of the different emotions and grief they may be feeling (learn more about physical recovery and emotional recovery after loss). It is an incredible mix of challenging experiences for someone to go through.

As a supporter, it can be hard to be a bystander to pain and grieving, and you may feel helpless as to what to do or say. Oftentimes when someone near us is in pain, we want to take that pain away, so we might be inclined to express sentiments similar to "it is going to be ok, you'll have another baby". But for this experience, it’s important to acknowledge their current grief and feelings — all of which need to be felt and heard. At such a tender time, the wrong words can feel severe — that is why we’ve compiled this guide to help navigate conversations with someone who is experiencing or has experienced pregnancy loss. Many of these suggestions were sourced from members of the Bodily community who experienced pregnancy loss and have been there.
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